On Premonitions and the Holocaust

Tags

adventure, beginnings, endings, fear, God, Holocaust, Nazi, premonitions, trust

When I was in eighth grade, my
English teacher involved the class in a discussion about the Holocaust after
reading The Devil’s Arithmetic by
Jane Yolen. In this story, a Jewish teenager from the present is taken back in
time to experience the Holocaust. This girl knew when she was put on a truck
with dozens of other Jews that she would be taken to a Nazi concentration camp and
tortured. My teacher asked us if we would rather know exactly what terrible
things were to happen, or if it would be better just to be unaware of what was
occurring. The class came up with a variety of answers, mostly indecisive, and
I do not remember if we ever came to a conclusion, but now I am beginning to
believe that ignorance really is bliss.

The other day I discussed
endings. I recently came to an ending in my own life, but it was not an abrupt
ending. Somehow, I knew that it was coming. Of course, I did not want to come
to this point, so I kept denying it and trying to make things better. My
efforts were futile, and I quickly found myself in a situation I had hoped
would be avoided. When I finally came to terms with what had happened, I told
myself that my previous worries and fears had prepared me. My premonitions were
able to quickly bandage the wounds inflicted by the ending. Somehow I believed
that, with my knowledge of what was to come at the end of my truck ride, I
would be able to build up strength enough to withstand the horrors of this
concentration camp (if I may be allowed to exaggerate).

Now I have found that I was
wrong. I was not able to fortify my emotions to face my ending. In fact, I
continuously think back to everything I did or did not do and try to determine
what went wrong. Was it something I did? Were my fears fulfilled simply because
I was afraid?

At this point, I do not think I
will ever find the answers to these questions. But, I do believe that God
wanted me to know that a change was coming, and I can take comfort in that. God
always wishes the best for His children. He loves us and wants us to trust His
judgment. He has told me the ending so I wouldn’t be surprised but turn to Him
for solace. He has not told me about my next beginning because He wants me to
trust Him. I have no idea what He has in store for me. I’m quite certain it won’t
be a crowded truck or a concentration camp, so surely it can’t be that bad. I
think, for now anyway, patience is the key. I have to wait for Him to tell me
what to begin and when. I am beginning to think that this could be an exciting
adventure!

On the End and the Beginning

Tags

beginning, ending, God, humility, pride, trust

There are times in life when things have to end. It is as
simple as that. These endings can be joyful or they can be heartbreaking. No
one ever seems to care about the joyful endings. A grand opportunity, they say.
It’s the heartbreaking endings, though, that make people say “It’s not an
ending, really, but a beginning – a new chapter in your life.”

I suppose that is true, really. But it doesn’t make the
ending any better.

Think of any book you have ever read. Think of a book that
you enjoyed reading so much that you felt you had become a part of it. You
never wanted the book to end, did you? And when it did end it was bittersweet,
if not downright sad. These are the kind of endings I am talking about. Sometimes
when things end you want to fight as hard as you can to make sure that the last
page never turns.

But I’m not the one turning the pages.

I can beg and plead, but God has different plans for me. I
just have to trust that His plans have a purpose better than any I could ever
devise. Sometimes that is a really difficult thing to do, especially when I
want God to be wrong just so that I can be right. Prideful, much? I guess this
is my new beginning. I had to come to an ending so that I could begin trusting
God and learning humility. This will be a difficult lesson to learn. We’ll see
how it goes.

On the Past and Eternity

Tags

Bible, changes, fear, God, Jesus, joy, love, relationships, sacrifice

I’ve been thinking about relationships, lately, and I’ve
come to this conclusion: changes are nice, but constants are necessary. We need
to know what to expect and what is expected of us in order to be comfortable
and communicate well in a relationship. The best example I’ve found is, of
course, a relationship with God. Nothing changes with Him, not even when we
want something to change.

“There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the
LORD’s counsel—that will stand.” Proverbs 19:21 (NKJV)

God doesn’t change. His desires for our lives are constant.
Isn’t that comforting? We never have to worry that God will change His mind and
decide to make us do something different. Oh, He may certainly change our
present direction, but that was His plan all along. In this relationship, we
are the dependent variable. As humans, we change our minds, second-guess our desires,
and give in to our fears. But isn’t it wonderful that we have a God who can
take all of our changes and make them entirely inconsequential?!

One of my favorite passages in the Bible comes from John 6
when Jesus is preaching to the people and saying that He is the bread of life
and all who eat His flesh and drink His blood will live forever (I know, it’s a
rather disturbing image – it might be best if you read it for yourself). Many of
the people who are listening to Jesus do not understand what He is saying and
don’t want to believe Him, so they leave.

⁶⁷ Then Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you also
want to go away?” ⁶⁸ But Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom
shall we go? You have the words of
eternal life. ⁶⁹ Also we have come to believe and know that You
are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”

John 6:67-69 (NKJV) [Words emboldened by me for emphasis.]

Isn’t that a remarkable faith that Simon Peter displays? I
can be wrong, so very wrong, but I know that God is always right. Nothing will
ever change that, not even my fear. A verse I have heard countless times and
remembered even more often is 1 John 4:18 (NKJV):

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear,
because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in
love.”

Ironically, this is a rather frightening verse to consider,
but it is primarily an encouraging verse. If God is our perfect love, shouldn’t
we run to Him to cast our fears away? And if we do not run to Him, are we not
only hurting ourselves? And this too never changes! We can always go to God
whenever we are afraid, no matter how silly our fears may be.

So then how do our changes affect God? I mentioned earlier
that our changes really don’t ruin God’s plans, and that is true. However, I do
believe that God dislikes our changing attitudes toward Him and is hurt by our
unbelief. John 11:35 (NKJV) is the famous short verse, “Jesus wept.” Out of
context, of course, it can be difficult to understand, but Jesus cries when He
has gone to see Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. At this point, He knows that Lazarus
is dead, but He also knows that Lazarus will not stay dead, if you will. So it
doesn’t make much sense that Jesus should be crying only because Lazarus is
dead (even though verse 36 tells us that this is what everyone believed to be
His reason). Looking back at the beginning of this story, we know that Martha is
the first to meet Jesus. She is clearly upset, so Jesus tells Martha that
Lazarus will live again, and she takes that statement for granted. Then, Mary
speaks to Jesus. She begins to say the same things that Martha said.

“Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who
came with her weeping, He groaned in the
spirit and was troubled.”

John 11:33 (NKJV) [Words emboldened by me for emphasis.]

So, Jesus wept, groaned, and was troubled, and it appears
that this was because He was upset by the unbelief of His friends and
followers.

It is easy to take God for granted and forget about Him. We
cannot see Him, we do not always talk about Him or to Him, we cannot feel Him,
and we cannot always listen to Him. Everyone knows this, of course, but I also
know that we forget how much we rely on our physical senses to direct our
emotions. I hope I am not putting words into His mouth when I say this, but I
do believe that it pains Him that He can no longer walk with us as He did with
Adam and Eve. Through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ we can have a relationship
with God that is not dependent on laws and rituals, but there is still separation.
Yet, like all strong relationships, there is also reciprocation!

“The LORD will give strength to His people;
The LORD will bless His people with peace.”

Psalm 29:11 (NKJV)

“I will sing to you and not be silent.
Lord, my God, I will praise you forever.”

Psalm 30:12 (NCV)

I really love these last verses. They are so full of joy,
and they really do characterize the life we can have in God. I will praise my Lord
forever and rest in His strength and peace.

I apologize that this was such a long-winded post (so much for meager, eh?), but I hope that it was helpful to you in some way. I know that I needed it.

On Grammar and Perseverance

Tags

Bible, control, God, grammar, greetings, James, joy, perseverance, rest, Sunday, surprise

Today, on the way to my Statistics class, I passed a
man who works for Buildings and Grounds here on campus. Before I say anything
else you have to know something about this man.

1. He is a hard worker. Nearly every time I see him, he is working on something for
   the school.
2. He is very friendly. He rarely lets a person pass him without saying “Good
   morning,” or offering some other greeting.

So, knowing what I know of him, I wasn’t surprised
when he asked of me, “How are you today?”

Of course, I simply answered with the expected
response, “I’m good. How are you?”

But his very simple answer rather surprised me.

“I’m always good…But Sundays I’m gooder.”

Well, grammatical fallacies aside, I truly hadn’t expected
him to say that. So, I started thinking about what he had said.

What would life be like if I was “always good?”
Certainly it doesn’t mean that I would never have reason to be upset, but would
I be able to have a positive outlook on every difficult situation that comes my
way? And what about all those times I’ve said “I’m good” when I really wasn’t?
If I am “always good,” would I be able to tell the truth when people ask me the
how-are-you question?

All of this makes me think of James 1:2-4 (NIV), “²Consider
it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³because
you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ⁴Perseverance
must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking
anything.”

It’s difficult to always have a positive outlook on
life, but it is possible. As Christians, we have hope in God’s perfect
strength. I have to remind myself of this all the time, but I need never worry
that my trials will break me. They can bend and pull all they want – and that
bending and pulling gets even worse when I tell God that I am strong enough to
handle it on my own – but I will never be broken.

“The testing of your faith develops perseverance.”
That part of the verse reminds me of the last part of this man’s reply: “But
Sundays I’m gooder.” What is Sunday for? Church, yes, but most importantly it
is an entire day that is set aside as a time for us to rest in the love and
peace of our Heavenly Father. Sunday is the day when we have to step back and
say, “God, if You, the Creator of the universe, took a day off from running all
of creation, then I think I need to take a day off from trying to run my own
little world, and give it all back to You.” It seems that Sunday is the day
that reminds us that we are only human, and we can only do so much. It is an
odd fact that a dose of humility from God can be encouraging. So, we face
trials to develop perseverance, but this is not the kind of perseverance that
you see on the faces of marathon runners during the last quarter of the race.
This is the kind of perseverance that we find when we look to God and lay everything
down and let Him take care of it. This is the kind of perseverance that comes
from trusting in someone other than ourselves. It is the most difficult type of
perseverance, but it is the most beneficial. It’s the type of perseverance that
makes Sundays better than all of the other days in the week, but it is also the
type of perseverance that should be practiced every time we try too hard to
direct our own paths.

I want to be “always good,” and on Sundays I want to
be “gooder.” I want to look at my difficulties and still be able to think
positively. Then, I want to look at God and thank Him for the chance to take a
rest from all of my worries and let Him do the planning. I’ve never found this
to be easy, but hopefully now I will be able to remember it a little better
thanks to a man who simply asked me a question.